If the husband hits the wife in anger, can the wife hit back?
In Islam, the guidance regarding the treatment of wives is clear and emphasizes kindness and respect. The Qur'an states: Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
4:34. This verse illustrates that while a husband may have a degree of authority, it is expected that he exercises it in a manner that is just and respectful.
Moreover, the Qur'an also acknowledges situations where a wife fears ill treatment from her husband, stating: If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do.
4:128. This verse encourages reconciliation and peace over conflict.
In terms of responding to physical aggression, the hadith provides further clarity. A man once asked the Prophet ﷺ about the rights of a wife over her husband, to which he responded: That he feeds her when he eats, clothes her when he clothes himself, does not strike her face, does not insult her, and does not abandon her except while she is in the house.
Sunan Ibn Majah 10:6. This highlights that a husband should not strike his wife at all, indicating that violence is not condoned in a marital relationship.
In summary, the teachings of Islam strongly discourage any form of violence in marriage. If a husband hits his wife in anger, it is not permissible for her to retaliate in kind. Instead, the focus should be on reconciliation and addressing grievances in a constructive manner.
Sources
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4:34 · An-Nisaa
4:34 · Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّۭا كَبِيرًۭا
Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
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4:128 · An-Nisaa
4:128 · Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall
وَإِنِ ٱمْرَأَةٌ خَافَتْ مِنۢ بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزًا أَوْ إِعْرَاضًۭا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يُصْلِحَا بَيْنَهُمَا صُلْحًۭا ۚ وَٱلصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌۭ ۗ وَأُحْضِرَتِ ٱلْأَنفُسُ ٱلشُّحَّ ۚ وَإِن تُحْسِنُوا۟ وَتَتَّقُوا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًۭا
If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do.
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Sunan Ibn Majah 10:6
Sunan Ibn Majah · Book 10, Hadith 6 · Narrated by Hakim bin Muawiya's father
A man asked the Prophet (peace be upon him), "What is the right of the wife over her husband?" He said, "That he feeds her when he eats, clothes her when he clothes himself, does not strike her face, does not insult her, and does not abandon her except while she is in the house."
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