Is it allowed to say "May Allah be merciful to him" for non-Muslim deads/livings?
The question of whether it is permissible to say "May Allah be merciful to him" for deceased non-Muslims is addressed differently within Sunni and Shia scholarship.
According to Sunni scholarship, as reflected in Tafsir Ibn Kathir, the general view is that it is discouraged to ask for Allah's mercy for non-Muslims. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught not to curse the dead, emphasizing that they have reached their fate based on their actions in life. A hadith from Sahih al-Bukhari states, Do not curse the dead for they have reached what they sent forth.
Sahih al-Bukhari 23:147 This implies that intercession or prayer for mercy is reserved primarily for those who have died in faith.
On the other hand, Shia scholarship, as reflected in Al-Kafi, takes a more inclusive approach. It allows for supplications for the deceased, regardless of their faith, especially if they are described as weak or helpless. One narration advises that if one does not know the condition of the deceased, they can say, O Allah, if he cherished goodness and its people, forgive him, have mercy on him...
Al-Kafi 3:280 This indicates a more compassionate stance towards all individuals, recognizing the potential for goodness in everyone.
In summary, while Sunni scholars typically discourage praying for mercy for non-Muslims, Shia scholars provide a more lenient perspective that allows for such supplications, particularly under circumstances of uncertainty about the deceased's faith. For specific guidance applicable to individual situations, it's best to consult a qualified local scholar.
Sources
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Sahih al-Bukhari 23:147
Sahih al-Bukhari · Book 23, Hadith 147 · Narrated by Aisha
The Prophet said, 'Do not curse the dead for they have reached what they sent forth.' This was also narrated by Abdullah ibn al-Qaddus from Al-A’mash and Muhammad ibn Anas from Al-A’mash who was followed by Ali ibn Al-Ja’d, Ibn Ar'arah, and Ibn Abi 'Adi from Shu’bah.
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Al-Kafi 3:280
Al-Kafi · Book 3, Hadith 280
If the deceased is weak and helpless, say, 'O Allah, forgive those who repented and followed Your path, and protect them from the punishment of Hell.' And if you do not know his condition, say, 'O Allah, if he cherished goodness and its people, forgive him, have mercy on him, and overlook his faults; and if he was oppressed by You in any way, then seek forgiveness for him by way of intercession, not by way of guardianship.' — OR — Regarding a woman wanting to perform Hajj without a mahram: Is it valid for her to perform Hajj? He said, 'Yes, if she is trustworthy.' — OR — I asked Abu Ja'far about a man who married a woman on the basis of her judgment (her stipulated dowry). He said, "Her judgment shall not exceed the dowries of the family of Muhammad (peace be upon them): twelve uqiyyahs and a nassh, which is the weight of five hundred dirhams of silver." I asked, "What if he married her on the basis of his own judgment and she agreed to it?" He said, "Whatever amount he judges is permissible for her, whether small or large." I said, "Then why do you not allow her judgment over him, while you approve his judgment over her?" He said, "Because he judged her, and she had no right to accept anything beyond what the Messenger of Allah prescribed. He married his wives according to that, so I returned her dowry to the Sunnah. But since she judged him, and committed the matter of dowry to him, and consented to his judgment, it is incumbent upon her to accept his judgment, whether it be small or large." — OR — I asked Abu Abdullah about a slave who falsely accuses a free man. He said: He is flogged eighty lashes.
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