Is it permissible for a woman to befriend or talk to man?

Sources

• ✓ 4:19 · An-Nisaa

  4:19 · Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall

  يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرْهًۭا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا۟ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا

  O ye who believe! It is not lawful for you forcibly to inherit the women (of your deceased kinsmen), nor (that) ye should put constraint upon them that ye may take away a part of that which ye have given them, unless they be guilty of flagrant lewdness. But consort with them in kindness, for if ye hate them it may happen that ye hate a thing wherein Allah hath placed much good.

• ✓ Tafsir Ibn Kathir on 4:19

  Sunni

  Tafsir Ibn Kathir · 4:19

  This verse, "O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will..." was revealed to abolish a pre-Islamic Arab custom concerning widows. Ibn Abbas narrated that before Islam, when a man died, his male relatives—often his closest kin—would claim the widow. Some would choose to marry her themselves, others would arrange a marriage for her, and some would prevent her from marrying anyone else. They had priority over her and her own family had no say. This practice was oppressive to the women, forcing them into relationships without consent. Ibn Abbas explained that part of the practice involved the man taking the bride’s dowry back if he disliked her, sometimes barring her from remarrying. God therefore legislated against this injustice, prohibiting men from inheriting women against their will or causing them harm to reclaim any dowry or gifts given to them, unless the wife commits a clear immoral act justifying such a measure. The hadith and reports collected by Imam Bukhari, Abu Dawud, An-Nasa’i, Ibn Marduyah, and Ibn Abi Hatim trace the revelation to cases like that of Abu Qays ibn Al-Aslat whose son wanted to marry his widow, a common control exercised by kin before Islam. This prohibition aimed to end the practice called “al-adl,” where male relatives would trap the widow, hoping she would die or be coerced into returning the dowry when they inherited her marriage. These verses forbid denying women their rights or mistreating them to reclaim wealth, emphasizing fair and kind treatment. The command "and live with them in kindness" indicates spouses should conduct themselves with gentleness, kindness, and respect, mirroring how they wish to be treated by their wives. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ exemplified this through his noble, pleasant behavior and affection towards his wives. The verse also encourages patience if one dislikes his wife, reminding believers that what seems unpleasant may hold great good for them, including blessings through children born within marriage. Further, if a husband seeks to replace one wife with another and has given a large dowry, he must not unjustly take back any portion of that dowry; doing so would be slander and an evident sin. Ibn Umar, Ibn Abbas, Mujahid, and other early scholars clarify that the "clear immoral act" (fahisha mubayyinah) primarily means adultery or open disobedience, which would permit the husband to reclaim the dowry and separate from her. The verse ends with a stern warning against marrying women who were once married to one’s fathers, declaring it foul, hateful, and a terrible path. This ruling honors and respects fathers and forbids that relationship utterly in Islam, as unanimously agreed upon by scholars. Instances from the Prophet’s time demonstrate this was a marked break from some pre-Islamic practices. In essence, the entire passage explains the context of these regulations to protect women’s dignity and marital rights, eradicating oppressive pre-Islamic customs regarding widows, mandating respectful spousal relations, setting rules for dowry return, and forbidding incestuous marriages. The explanation is supported by many hadith and reports from companions and early scholars illustrating the transformative social justice introduced by Islam in marital and inheritance laws.

• ✓ Majma al-Bayan fi Tafsir al-Qur'an on 4:19

  Shia

  Majma al-Bayan fi Tafsir al-Qur'an · 4:19

  Recitation Variants: Hamza and Al-Kisai read "كَرِهًا" with a damma (u vowel) on the kaf, applying to this verse and also to Surah At-Tawbah and Al-Ahqaf. They are supported by Asim, Ibn 'Amir, and Ya'qub in Al-Ahqaf. The majority of other readers read it with a fatha (a vowel) on the kaf in all these cases. For the phrase "بفاحشة مبينة," Ibn Kathir and Abu Bakr read with a fatha on the ya, while the other reciters read it with a kasra. Rare readings were also reported from Ibn Abbas, who pronounced "مبينة" with a kasra, sounding lighter. Grammatical Argument (Al-Hujjah): The words "الكره" and "الكره" (same spelling but different meanings) illustrate two separate linguistic usages, similarly to cases like "الضعف" (weakness) and "الضعف" (weak). Sibawayh commented on verbs built on the root ب ي ن (to clarify), noting the various derived verb forms that express making something clear or evident. This is supported by poetic examples from classical Arabic, showing the root's usage in contexts of clarity and revelation. Linguistic Notes (Al-Lughah): "Al-'Adl" (العضل) refers to constraining by preventing marriage. Its origin implies prohibition or refusal. For example, a hen being "عَضَلَت" her egg means it was difficult to hatch. The term "الفاحشة" is a verbal noun (masdar) similar to "العاقبة" and "العافية." Abu Ubaidah explained "الفاحشة" as reprehensible acts and "الفحش" as ugliness. "Al-Mu'ashara" (المعاشرة) means companionship or living together and is derived from the root 'to live together.' Grammatical Parsing (Al-I'rab): The phrase "أن ترثوا النساء" functions as the subject (fa'il) of "يحل," and "كرها" is a verbal noun acting as an adverbial circumstantial qualifier (hal) relating to "النساء." The verb "ترثوا" governs the state. The negative imperative "ولا تعضلوهن" may be accusative as well, understood as conjunctive or parallel to "ترثوا" meaning "You must neither inherit women nor prevent them." It can also be read as jussive, expressing prohibition. Occasion of Revelation (Al-Nuzul): It was reported that after Abu Qais ibn Al-Aslat died, his son Muhsin ibn Abu Qais unjustly inherited his father's wife Kabishah bint Mu'in, left her without approaching, spending on, or supporting her. She came to the Prophet Muhammad requesting justice, leading to this verse's revelation, according to Muqatil and as narrated from Imam Abu Ja'far (peace be upon him). Other reports mention the pre-Islamic practice wherein a man’s heir, often his son from another wife or a guardian, would inherit the widow just as property, sometimes throwing a cloth on her to symbolize marital transfer; the widow then had the option to marry with her first dower or be married off, with the dower taken by the heir. These practices were being prohibited. Different narrators relate the verses to cases of a man keeping a wife without need, delaying consummation or maintenance while awaiting her death to inherit her, representing unjust restraint. The Meaning (Al-Ma'na): After prohibiting the pre-Islamic customs regarding orphans and wealth, Allah proceeded to forbid the old practice concerning women. The address, "O you who believe," indicates a command applicable to the faithful: "It is not lawful for you that you inherit women against their will." That is, you cannot force women into marriage by inheritance, detesting them or forcing them to submit. Others interpret this as forbidding wrongful imprisonment of women with the aim of seizing some part of their dowry or bridal gift. Also forbidden is oppressing them or preventing their marriage without just cause. The phrase "nor hinder them" indicates prohibition against preventing their remarriage, in contrast to the old custom where heirs prevented widows from marrying to extract dowries or control them. Scholars differ on the precise meaning of "lest you take away some of what you have given them." Some understand it as ordering husbands to release their wives if there is no necessity and not detain them unjustly until they pay a ransom. Others believe it prohibits heirs from obstructing remarriage, as was done in pre-Islamic times. A third view is that the verse means divorced women are not to be prevented from marrying others unless with her consent, correcting the custom in Quraysh whereby a divorced woman could not remarry without permission. A fourth says it addresses the guardian or custodian to avoid restricting the woman’s freedom to remarry. Among these, the first opinion is strongest. Regarding the exception "except if they commit a clear immorality" ("فاحشة مبينة"), opinions differ. Some interpret "immorality" as adultery or fornication. Others consider it as disobedience (nushuz). The preferred reading encompasses all sinfulness, following what was narrated from Abu Ja'far and favored by al-Tabari. Disagreement exists on what the phrase "except if they commit" applies. Some say it refers to the taking of the bride-price or money, at a time before the prescriptions were fully established. Others interpret it as relating to the forbidding or detaining mentioned previously. Abu Ali al-Jubaiyi considered this ruling abrogated, but Abu Muslim did not accept that view. The command "And live with them in kindness" means to cohabit with women reasonably and fairly, fulfilling their rights including equitable division, maintenance, and general good behavior. "Kindness" may mean not harming or speaking harshly and maintaining a pleasant demeanor. Another opinion is that spouses should treat each other in a mutually courteous and considerate manner. The clause "If you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something and Allah produces through it much good" implies that even if a husband finds his wife unpleasant or dislikes their companionship, he should not hastily divorce her, for Allah may bring forth blessings and good outcomes, such as children or increasing mutual kindness, from that disliked state. Ibn Abbas and Mujahid hold this understanding. Thus, the meaning encourages patience in marital relation when true harm is not feared. Alternative interpretations suggest the pronoun "it" refers back to the thing disliked, or that Allah may make good come from parting, although the latter is considered less probable, as Allah advises maintaining companionship rather than separation. Continuing to the next verse (4:20), it addresses the case where a man desires to replace one wife with another and has given one a large sum (a qintar) as dower; he is forbidden to take back anything from that dower unjustly, for this would be sinful and flagrant wrongdoing.