Is it wrong to "sever ties of kinship" in the case of an abusive relative?
The Qur'an and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ strongly emphasize the importance of maintaining kinship ties and treating relatives with kindness. The verse, Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?
47:22, highlights the serious consequences of breaking family bonds, indicating that such actions can lead to corruption and social decay.
Tafsir Ibn Kathir explains that severing kinship ties is a grave sin, as it goes against Allah’s command to foster strong family relationships. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also said, The ties of kinship are a mercy; whoever upholds them, they uphold him, and whoever severs them, they sever him
Sahih al-Bukhari 78:20. This shows that maintaining these ties is not only a moral obligation but also has spiritual implications.
However, the context of maintaining these ties is crucial. In cases of abuse, there may be a need to establish boundaries for one's safety and well-being. While the principle of upholding kinship ties is emphasized, Islamic teachings also advocate for justice and the protection of individuals from harm. Majma al-Bayan notes that the obligation to maintain kinship ties does not mean one should endure abuse or mistreatment.
In summary, while Islam encourages the maintenance of kinship ties, abusive relationships complicate this principle. It may be necessary to sever ties to protect oneself from harm, though this should be done thoughtfully and with consideration of all circumstances involved. Seeking guidance from knowledgeable scholars and considering the specifics of the situation is advisable.
Sources
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47:22 · Muhammad
47:22 · Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِن تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَن تُفْسِدُوا۟ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوٓا۟ أَرْحَامَكُمْ
Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?
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Tafsir Ibn Kathir on 47:22
Tafsir Ibn Kathir · 47:22
Allah Almighty informs us in this verse about the believers who eagerly anticipated the legal obligation of jihad. However, when Allah, Glorious and Exalted, made it obligatory and commanded it, many people recoiled from it. This reluctance is similar to what is mentioned in a related verse: "Have you not seen those to whom it was said, 'Restrain your hands, maintain prayer, and give zakat'? But when fighting was ordained for them, behold, a group among them feared men as they fear Allah or even more. They said, 'Our Lord, why have You ordained fighting for us? Why not postpone it to a later time?'" (Qur'an 4:77) Here, the verse says, "And those who believe say, 'Why has a surah not been revealed that contains a ruling on fighting?'" meaning they desired a surah that clearly legislated the ruling on combat. Hence, Allah states: "But when a sure surah is revealed, and fighting is mentioned therein, you see those in whose hearts is a sickness looking at you with the look of one fainting from death," indicating their terror, fear, and cowardice at facing the enemy. Then Allah encourages them: "For them are better obedience and a kind word," meaning it would be better for them to heed the command immediately and comply sincerely. "Then when the matter is decided," that is, when the situation becomes serious and combat is imminent, "if they had been true to Allah," meaning if their intention had been sincere to Him alone, "it would have been better for them." Regarding the phrase, "So be you not negligent, lest you cause corruption upon the earth and sever your ties of kinship," this warns that if they turn away from jihad and shirk from it, they will revert to their previous state of ignorance and barbarity (the era of Jahiliyyah), shedding blood and breaking family ties. Therefore, Allah curses such people, "Those are they whom Allah has cursed, so He has made them deaf and blinded their sight." This is a prohibition against causing corruption generally, and against severing kinship ties specifically. In contrast, Allah commands reform and maintaining family relationships, which includes kindness toward relatives in speech, actions, and giving wealth. Numerous authentic hadiths from the Prophet ﷺ emphasize this injunction. For instance, Al-Bukhari narrated from Abu Huraira that the Prophet ﷺ said: "Allah created creation, and when He finished, the womb (relationship) stood up and took hold of the right of the Merciful, Glorious and Exalted One. Allah said, 'What is this?' The womb replied, 'This is the position of the one who seeks refuge with You from severance.' Allah asked, 'Will you not be pleased that I connect whoever connects you and sever whoever severs you?' The womb said, 'Yes.' So that is it." Then Abu Huraira referred to the verse, "So be you not negligent, lest you cause corruption upon the earth and sever your ties of kinship." (Qur'an 47:22) This hadith is reported by Bukhari and Muslim through different chains, underscoring its authenticity. Imam Ahmad also narrated from various companions that the Prophet ﷺ said: "There is no sin more deserving that Allah hastens its punishment in this world, while storing reward for its possessor in the Hereafter, than oppression and cutting off family ties." Other hadiths exhort maintaining kinship ties, promising added lifespan and provision to those who keep family relations intact despite others' wrongdoing. One narration informs that the womb is suspended from the Throne of Allah, and the one who maintains ties is not like the one who merely reciprocates, but is the one who reconnects whoever cuts off. The Prophet ﷺ stated that on the Day of Judgment the womb will speak clearly and defend those who maintained it and curse those who severed it. Another narration relates that the merciful will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful, and the womb is a portion of mercy. The one who keeps it intact is connected to it, and the one who cuts it severs himself. Tabarani reported from Salman that the Prophet ﷺ said: "Souls are assembled forces; those who are acquainted harmonize, and those who are estranged separate." He also said: "When speech becomes apparent, deeds recorded, tongues united, hearts embittered, and every person severs his kinship, Allah curses them and makes them deaf and blind." In summary, this verse warns against abandoning the duty of jihad after it is ordained, linking such negligence to causing corruption and severing family ties, acts cursed by Allah. It encourages sincere obedience and courage in facing challenges and emphasizes the great importance of maintaining kinship ties, supported by numerous authentic prophetic traditions.
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Sahih al-Bukhari 78:20
Sahih al-Bukhari · Book 78, Hadith 20 · Narrated by Aisha
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "The ties of kinship are a mercy; whoever upholds them, they uphold him, and whoever severs them, they sever him."
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